Arranged Marriage.
Arrange marriages require an extra effort for the need love to grow between the two. Arranged marriage somehow denies them the comfort and freedom of falling in love with ease as compared to those who marry the one they love.
This Quora thread, asked couples about the first time they got intimate after they tied the knot and some people answered with such sweet honesty that you should read about what they have written.
1. She was lucky enough to find the man every girl is looking for
My husband was the first & the only match my parents looked into for me. Our families met & approved. Then we went on a couple of dates & hit it off.
We got engaged, & married after a month.
Since everything happened so fast after our engagement due to a one-month wedding prep time, our relationship didn’t grow during that time.
After the wedding ceremony, we were driven to a hotel. I still remember it. This is how are ‘first night’ went. We lay on the bed, half a foot apart but holding hands, & talked about all the things that happened at the wedding. Somewhere while talking, we fell asleep.
We had a couple of rituals, & took off for our honeymoon the next day.
It was an 8-hour flight. We talked, watched a movie, & he taught me how to play his PSP.
It was late, so we unpacked & had a light dinner at the hotel. Yeah, I know. It was time for sex. I was literally shivering as I walked back to the room. I know he was my husband, but we hadn’t even kissed yet. I was in no shape or form ready to get intimate with him. I thought I should pretend to fall asleep, but for how many days could I do that? I didn’t want to disappoint him the first night of our honeymoon by being the ‘I have a headache’ wife. He had been so nice to me. But then, I didn’t owe him sex just because he was being nice. But, his sister-in-law had especially accompanied me for lingerie shopping, & gotten me the ‘first night’ dress. [So creepy!] I know it makes no sense, but I was feeling like a slut as I was about to have sex with a guy I barely knew. I didn’t feel like his wife yet! But what option did I have?
The pressure was so much that I, a 24-year-old grown ass woman, burst into tears, all the while chanting “Thank you”, “I’m so sorry”, “I can do it if you want”, “I can’t do it”. He hugged me & held me tight to calm me down. What he told me next honestly laid the foundation of our relationship.
“You’re my wife & we didn’t get married for you to please me. I didn’t get a chance to meet you as a regular girl, and I regret that. I didn’t get a chance to be your friend, then fall for you & pursue you, & take you out on a first date. We didn’t get a chance to build a relationship. We jumped directly to the last step of getting married, but I still want us to have a healthy relationship. I still want to go through all those steps. You are my wife, & I don’t want to strip you of your self-respect with your clothes. I don’t want you to just lay on your back as I claim my husband rights. You will someday be the mother of my children, & I want to keep you on that pedestal always. We will someday make love, but you don’t owe it to me. Let it come naturally, & we’ll enjoy every step of falling in love as it comes.”
If I think back, that was the moment I started falling in love with him. I had never expected a real man to have this sort of a thought process.Since everything happened so fast after our engagement due to a one-month wedding prep time, our relationship didn’t grow during that time.
After the wedding ceremony, we were driven to a hotel. I still remember it. This is how are ‘first night’ went. We lay on the bed, half a foot apart but holding hands, & talked about all the things that happened at the wedding. Somewhere while talking, we fell asleep.
We had a couple of rituals, & took off for our honeymoon the next day.
It was an 8-hour flight. We talked, watched a movie, & he taught me how to play his PSP.
It was late, so we unpacked & had a light dinner at the hotel. Yeah, I know. It was time for sex. I was literally shivering as I walked back to the room. I know he was my husband, but we hadn’t even kissed yet. I was in no shape or form ready to get intimate with him. I thought I should pretend to fall asleep, but for how many days could I do that? I didn’t want to disappoint him the first night of our honeymoon by being the ‘I have a headache’ wife. He had been so nice to me. But then, I didn’t owe him sex just because he was being nice. But, his sister-in-law had especially accompanied me for lingerie shopping, & gotten me the ‘first night’ dress. [So creepy!] I know it makes no sense, but I was feeling like a slut as I was about to have sex with a guy I barely knew. I didn’t feel like his wife yet! But what option did I have?
The pressure was so much that I, a 24-year-old grown ass woman, burst into tears, all the while chanting “Thank you”, “I’m so sorry”, “I can do it if you want”, “I can’t do it”. He hugged me & held me tight to calm me down. What he told me next honestly laid the foundation of our relationship.
“You’re my wife & we didn’t get married for you to please me. I didn’t get a chance to meet you as a regular girl, and I regret that. I didn’t get a chance to be your friend, then fall for you & pursue you, & take you out on a first date. We didn’t get a chance to build a relationship. We jumped directly to the last step of getting married, but I still want us to have a healthy relationship. I still want to go through all those steps. You are my wife, & I don’t want to strip you of your self-respect with your clothes. I don’t want you to just lay on your back as I claim my husband rights. You will someday be the mother of my children, & I want to keep you on that pedestal always. We will someday make love, but you don’t owe it to me. Let it come naturally, & we’ll enjoy every step of falling in love as it comes.”
If I think back, that was the moment I started falling in love with him. I had never expected a real man to have this sort of a thought process.
2. Pre-marital sex made their marriage better
Marriage was soon fixed. There are rules prohibiting to be husband and wife to meet before the wedding. But neither of us, adhered to them. We went on a couple of dates. I met her friends, she met mine.
One day, I was at her flat (she used to live along with her roommate in a 2BHK flat). Her roommate was also there. We were happily chatting away our time. Her friend suddenly said that she needed to go out and get some groceries. She went away.
Now, both of us were all alone, in her flat and there was pin-drop silence. Both of us had been on a couple of dates before but we were never in such a situation before. To break the ice, she started talking about something. After a few minutes, there was again complete silence. She came close to me and kissed me on the cheek. I was awestruck. I was unable to fathom what just happened. She then told me to kiss her back. I was reluctant at first, but then I thought that she can consider breaking off the marriage because of this incident. I kissed her back on the cheek. They were simply small pecks, as in what you give to a child.
After that, she started hugging me and not like a normal hug, but those really tight hugs which you give to your partner.
She started undoing my shirt buttons and pulled away my pants. I was shit scared. I had watched porn before, but I was now clueless. She was leading the entire thing. We did it at that time. It was the first time for both of us and it felt really good.
After that day, we did it like rabbits. Sometimes at her place, sometimes at mine and sometimes we booked a room. We were both happy. We got married and on the night of our marriage, we were both comfortable with each other. Having had sex before, neither of us were in a hurry. Moreover, we were so tired that we just slept.
We now have two beautiful daughters. 
3. They almost did…but they didn’t 
And the wedding day, as tiring as it gets, ended and we finally reached our hotel at 2 am. I was lucky to have spent a good amount of time with her and we both felt we were a comfortable couple till this night. By the time my friends left, it was 4 am and I was just too tired but how can you just sleep on your first night? So there I was, just taken a shower and ready to get into action. Not even for a second, I thought or asked her if she was ready. Seeing my excitement, she didn’t say anything. She freshened up and came out in her first night dress. I still go weak when I think of that sight. She was lying besides me and that is when the reality stuck. You don’t do sex just for the heck of it. It has to be enjoyed and felt and we both knew it wasn’t going to be the case.
I shocked myself when I told her let’s do it when we both are ready and just hugged her. She was quiet most of the time till this happened and as soon as I said this, I could see her feel so relaxed and happy. I knew she wasn’t ready at all but was thinking of doing it for me.
We did it after 4 months, if I would tell someone, he/she would make a joke out of it and hence the anonymous post. But if you ask me, I would say it was the best decision we made. We gave each other enough time, comfort and love and then this just happened without any planning.
4. The first night it was!
I met her couple of times as I lived in a different city at that point and each time we met we had fun but didn’t end up going all the way due to space & privacy constraints. We finally got married and went all the way in a 5 Star Hotel on the very night of the marriage.
So that my friend is the story of my arranged marriage that happened almost 8 years back.
Marriage and relationships can be beautiful only if you take proper efforts to make them work.
H/T : The Huffington Post
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